Being a Modern Royal Javanese Princess | Gusti Kanjeng Ratu Hayu | TEDxMlatiWomen

Transcriber: Nathaniel Luis Reyhan Soesilo Reviewer: Yolanda Raintina Good evening everyone. Maybe we can just get started. Calm down, Mr. (Laughter) I’m getting more and more nervous about it. (Laughter ) From 2009 to 2012, I worked in Jakarta in an IT company.

During those 3 years, there were 2 comments from my team that I can’t forget. The first one was “Are you sure you’re the son of the sultan? It must be the wrong one, right?” The second, “You succeeded in destroying all my images of the princess of the palace.” (Laughter) Indeed, people’s imaginations about Javanese women, especially princesses from the palace, are sometimes quite extraordinary, which is veryunrealistic.

It is undeniable in Indonesian culture, yes, some say that woman is short forwani ditoto, some say that her business iskanca wingking, her business is only the kitchen, wells, and mattresses. There was a time in the palace itself, and not too far from my generation , when the king’s daughter was considered a political tool that could be used as a tribute, could be married off here and there, just to gather power. There is even a time when the wife can bedilungsurkih, the Javanese language, or given to subordinates. It exists, and it’s still not a generation too far away. There are still grandmothers who are like that.

The changes in the palace, perhaps not too far away, were in the era of Hamengkubuwono VIII.

He has 8 wives , 24 sons, 17 daughters. The position in the palace usually has one empress and the rest , under it there are various. One level below it is thegarwa padmi, who can be called concubines. But, all of them are legal wives.

Although the king’s daughters could not leave the palace freely, the 8th grandparents had already begun to bring in teachers to educate their daughters. In the days of Hamengkubuwono IX, he was his wife. So, one time there were four, when one died, he remarried. At that time, he did not appoint an empress.

All of his wives have the title ofgarwa padmi.

It is a form of justice for his wife in a polygamous family condition. Her children are no longer betrothed. All university graduates, and are allowed to choose their own life partner. Next. In my father’s time, this was his only wife.

She … She chose to have only one wife , wherein her title was empress. His children are all girls.

So, although many offered a solution to the succession to the throne for my father, namely remarrying until he had a son. He just said that I chose to have only one wife because I experienced the family situation of many mothers. I don’t want my children to go through the same thing.

That’s what he said. Empress in the era of Hamengkubuwono X was not only in the palace.

Gusti Kanjeng Ratu Hemas has many social activities, and has served as a member of the Regional Representatives Council for four terms in Jakarta. Finally, the two of them were able to stand on the same stage, this was in the awarding of the Mahaputra Utama Star. The children of HB X, all of whom are required to complete their bachelor ‘s degree abroad, are not allowed to bring anyone, so that we can get to know people from various cultures and can live independently.

Next. The consequence of that, I only felt when I was working.

Just something as simple asa king choosing to only have one wife, it has alot of impact, both in the family and in the palace institutionally. Just like the 8th grandparent , there were many sons, there were dozens. The 9th grandparents have a total of 22 sons and daughters. There are only five of us. This decision finally, on the one hand, the five of us, the first generation of the sultan’s children who live under one roof with their father and mother complete.

Where the previous sultans had their own residence, each wife had her own house in the palace complex and their children. So, we are the first generation. Then, my mother who always works outside the city requires us to be able to help you in solving all the problems of the palace.

So, we are also trained, required to be independent. Maybe as an illustration, when I wanted to be in 3rd grade of high school, I wanted to choose a country to study in, many of my friends wanted to go to Europe.

But, his parents said, “Just stay close, maybe to Australia, so you can come home often.” At that time, I wanted to study in Japan. When I’mmature, “Ladies and gentlemen, can I study in Japan?” The answer is very fast.

“That’s not far, that’s far away so you don’t keep coming back.

” (Laughter) And in the end, I was stranded alone in America where it was a 24 hour plane only. Truly in another part of the world. Next. The decision ofthe parents also gave me amindset that might be slightly different from many women of my age. So, I happen to be the first LPDP scholarship recipient.

So, batch 001. In 2016, I attended aworkshop called PEP LPDP. So, this workshop is specifically forLPDP awardees who have graduated from the destination school. So, it is not a selection to enter the LPDP itself. These women have graduated from S2, S3 in various majors , just hearing the title of the thesis, I don’t understand how it happened.

They are very smart. His age is probably around 26-27.

Being a Modern Royal Javanese Princess | Gusti Kanjeng Ratu Hayu | TEDxMlatiWomen

When they go home, their worries are being told to get married quickly, work-life balance, and how tobalance their own career and husband’s career. The way they madethat statement made me very uncomfortable. She put it this way, “Because I want to be a good mother or wife,” followed by, “then, when the husband comes home, the child comes home, he must be home.

” I do not accept. Because the mother only comes home onweekends. That’s even if you no longer work out of town. What about the nurses at the hospital on night duty? Hotel staff on night duty?

Are they not good mothers or wives? So, at that time I was immediately guerrilla from table to table.

Please change themindset, don’t be like that. We each have our own self-actualization interests. Change is also not only difficult in the family environment, but also in the palace environment.

So, in the past, the king’s daughter was married to her husband, maybe in her husband’s place, they were under her husband’s status. But not anymore. In the palace, there is still a system of internal government which is a monarchy, in which, if the sultan is a governor, in the palace there are still services.

The head of the service can only be held by descendants of the sultan who is on the throne. So, in the past, it was to my uncles, this time, it was to HB X’s children.

The problem is that there was only one place for women in the divisions of the palace, namely in thekepara, if you have ever seen it, the one who uses akemben, it’s more of a manual job for domestic labor, so preparing ceremonies, cleaning, and so on. For administrative and strategic tasks, such as managing palace assets, these are all men, and only men are allowed. So, one of the consequences of the sultan only having one wife, all daughters, there islir gumanti, changes in the structure of the palace , where we are also the first generation, all female heads of services. And finally, all divisions of the palace now have women.

What might be a bit difficult to accept is that because we, as sons of the sultan, are directly under the sultan’s position.

Our husbands, who incidentally like to say, maybe the husband is the head of the family or whatever, they are in the back position. If we stand like this, those in front of us, they are behind. The official invitations were GKR Hayu and KPH Notonegoro, never KPH Notonegoro and Mother. Not all men can accept this. In fact, the first one was my number two brother, GKR Condrokirono, who was appointed as Pengageng of Kawedanan Panitrapura, his position was like that of the regional secretary.

Structurally, at that time there were severalcourtiers who happened to be also quite close relatives, they raised objections to the sultan. They don’t want to have a female and younger boss. At that time,Ngarso Dalem’s answer was only one, “If you don’t accept my decision, leave the palace.” So, I really want to invite you to realize that discrimination, the difference in treatment between educating girls and boys, starts early at home. Maybe all children are welcome to pursue their dreams as high as the sky, the boys can run straight away, the girls wait first, is the housework done yet?

The same goes for career women , where, OK, my wife is allowed to work, but her husband doesn’t help at all at home.

So, a career woman is treated like she works like she doesn’t have a family, or she is at home, is required to take care of the house like she doesn’t have a job. So, I want to invite all men and women to beaware, and I want to invite us to break the chain until here, don’t continue it again. Because it is not only women who are harmed by this, men are finally obliged, as the head of an indoctrinated family you must be more than his wife, you must be more than his children.

So, it is interpreted as no less than his wife.

Finally, if the wife is smart, yes, “I want a smart wife, but as long as she is not smarter than her husband.” In the end, he’s really cute and smart, but I feel inferior. When women are encouraged to pursue your dreams as high as the sky, pursue education as high as possible, the men have a little difficulty following. So, the lack of self-confidence becomes a problem for the men themselves.

Maybe, so the neighbors gossip, if his wife’s income is higher.

But, what matters is your own family. People’s talk is endless. I am lucky to have tworole models that I really respect. Father, as a husband and father who never once said, “This is not a woman’s job.” In fact, to the people who advised him to remarry, he simply laughed, “That’s not the case.

” In fact, in the end, he decided to educate all his daughters so that they could stand on the same stage as the boys. So, my message, be the role model that you need. There will always be other people who experience the confusion, despair that you have experienced and gone through. So, don’t worry that, “This is not gonna make a difference.” The important thing is theaction, no matter how small because there will always be someone who needs it,you never know.

Maybe, that’s all from me, and thank you. (Clap).

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